Top 5 Ways to Make a Relationship Last During a Deployment or Extended Time Apart
Deployments and extended time apart can be tough to manage. Here are my top 5 ways to make your relationship last.
Have a Spending Plan
Financially things will change. Most likely your living expenses will decrease, and your income will increase. During my husband’s deployment, we opted to place the increase in our income in a special savings account. Once he arrived home, we made the decision together on what debt we would eliminate. We also budgeted a couple’s getaway to reconnect after the time away. I firmly in believe in writing your vision and making it plain (Habakkuk 2:2), a financial planner can help! Write down the plan and try your best to stay on track. Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover is a great resource to get finances on track.
Care Packages and Me Time
Be innovative! Care packages are a great way to cheer your significant other up. Pinterest has tons of ideas and techniques to make it fun. Now that we have a little one, I always try to incorporate my toddler as much as possible. Whenever my husband leaves for training, I always record him reading books or saying an evening prayer. It’s a great morale booster for the Kiddo. I also set up a mailbox for Dad in the house. My little one is free to send Dad any pictures or snacks when he feels like it. Feel free to add those items to the care package or even send a picture of the item during shorter breaks apart. I always use deployments or extended time apart to restructure my approach to goals and try new things. It’s a perfect opportunity to create an extra window of time for self to build that business plan or lose those last 10 lbs. that refuses to leave.
Make Major Decisions Together
Never make any major decisions or purchases without discussing them. i.e., Quitting your job, buying a car, moving, starting a business, getting a divorce (Yes, things like that really happen). From personal experience and observation, miscommunication is the root cause of problems. Just talk it out so that things won’t lead to anyone walking out. Remember, it’s never what you say but how you say it.
Be Transparent and Honest
Deployments are a lot to handle emotionally. It’s essential, to be honest with yourself and transparent with your significant other. Know you are not alone. The military has Family Readiness Groups filled with people and resources to help support you during that time, especially when you have children. During my husband’s deployment, we were a party of two. I cringed at the thought of getting involved. As a young newlywed, that support system didn’t appeal to me. I’m naturally a loner and a private person. I opted to get counseling, stay connected with close friends, and lean on my church family. It helped me to manage my emotions (or you can say…me emotionally). I was able to communicate more effectively and connect without giving him my emotional baggage to carry with the stress of a deployment and time apart.
Be Thoughtful- Change is Tough
Never rush something you want to last forever. Please allow time for everyone in the relationship to process change at their respective pace. Good things take time. View adjustment periods as revamping and renewing the relationship. We find new ways to communicate and love each other in a better way. Have you read The 5 Love Languages? It was great to discover our love language!
Comment Below: Have you used any of these tips? What works for you that I haven’t mentioned?