How to Deal with a Braggadocios One Upper
Have you ever had someone constantly disclose unnecessary materialistic details that add absolutely no value to their story? If you mention anything bad or good about your life, they have to share a similar experience with a side of extra fluff. If so, you have definitely met the “Braggadocios One Upper” (BOU)! Some BOUs are completely oblivious to what they are doing, others are fully aware. In either case, it’s a serious character flaw. “One-upping” is really a defense mechanism to protect oneself from feeling small in an effort to establish some sort of dominance or superiority in social settings.
I don’t know about you, but this type of character flaw taps on all of my nerves of irritation. Once I sense what direction the conversation is going into, I have the tendency to just shut down and disengage. I usually smile and say that’s nice while changing the or ending the conversation completely. Engaging in frivolous power struggles & stroking subject egos, is not my cup of tea. Mentally it makes the most sense, Right? All of your nerves of irritation are safe from harm. Well, your right and you’re wrong. What you do depends on how much value is in the relationship.
Relationships of Value
Shutting down is absolutely the wrong thing to do. This can come off as you being jealous and unsupportive. Yes! You read that right! All this time, I thought I was just protecting my nerves. Meanwhile, BOUs are out here conjured up entire situations that didn’t even take place. Since you value the relationship, I would recommend addressing the issue and talk about it. Real friends are willing to make changes for people they care about to build stronger bonds.
Now, if the feelings are not mutual… Abort Mission! Let that BOU live in their own little world.
Relationships of No Value
No Shade… But I could care less about an individual who isn’t adding value to me mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I personally believe its ok to disengage and bow out gracefully. What people think of you is their problem and not yours. It’s a huge waste of time and energy.
Comment Below: Has this ever happened to you? What would you do?
OMG, I know a few BOUs in my day. At first you feel, maybe it’s me. After a few conversations with these individuals you realize it’s not. When I encounter these individuals I have a new theme song 🎼 I’m living my best life, I’m not going back and forth with you. I stop the song there in my head lol 😂.
Great post Liz! We are very much alike! I absolutely agree, I tend to disengage when I see the individual maneuver the conversation to highlight their “achievements”. It’s disingenuous and annoying.