
Be Like Water
I will never forget the eve of 2020. I was at church in my usual seat in the balcony. I was stressed and vexed with circumstances that were not my own. I felt like I was alone on an island with just me and my son. My husband was deployed, and I felt the weight of all my sorrows caving in like a flood from a tidal wave. Instead of drowning, I vowed that 2020 would be nothing like 2019. I promised to start the year off with a bang and flood others’ hearts with what I wanted them to experience. Something they didn’t even know they needed. I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a sum of my circumstances.
I proceeded to make plans and placed expectations on God with self-serving good intentions. For some reason, I was doing good, but my faith was being tested in every way possible way. I was moving with faith, but not with permission to action. My anxiety spiked to an all-time high. The woman all about skin became covered in stress-induced breakouts from overload. Determined to be a wave, I kept pushing. I kept telling myself…
Tough times never last; tough people do.
As I pushed, my body and my husband pushed back. As I pushed, my counselor, my doctor, and my God pushed back until I had a seat. Sitting still has the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in life. I never knew that silence could be so loud. I finally heard what God wanted of me. He wanted me to be a ripple. A RIPPLE! A freaking ripple. I even asked God, are you sure? Because these plans of being a wave haven’t happened YET, and I know with faith, you can make it possible. I was struggling to accept the assignment given to me.
It hit me like a ton of bricks of finally realizing what God has been asking me to be all along. God wants me to be thee water. I wasn’t allowing him the space to move. I kept missing the mark because I made 2020 about me and not him. 2021 will be different. There are times to be a wave, and times to be a ripple. Both are equally as powerful and essential in life. No longer will I live a Liz lead life filled with good intentions and imperfect execution, but spiritually lead one covered with favor. I will not move on a good word, but a God word. As I write, I feel shackles of always being in control breaking. I can finally see new glimmers of what my future will be.
Kiara Ruth
Liz, I love reading your post and I love hearing your transparency. I’ve always admired who you are and how you show up in the world. Continue to let your light shine.
Elizabeth
Thank you for checking it out.The feeling is always mutual. Let’s keep shinning together.